Awaiting every heartbeat

• so far away from my blog..it will be 2 days to a month of absence
• working my ass off so much at work
• training the newbies at work
• figuring out what to do with my life
• wondering if I should venture out in different industries soon
• lacking hours of proper sleep time
• eating heaps of home cook meals (thank you aunty!)
• saving up money that it's making me feel poorer somehow..
• praying for a God-sent answer
• wanting to fix my lappy for quite sometime..and still haven't done it
• hoping to strike lotto (HAHAH just like everyone else)
• sorting out my life
• thanking God everyday for everything that makes me smile
• healthy...surprisingly didn't catch anything from Kian
• relieved from my medical mis-diagnose (not so extravagant...)
• thinking.....definitely have had better days
• in love and still am.

At 84 and still driving around in your little manual Kancil;
You were so brave to face the world with such courage;
Even though it was slowly taking control;
You fought it with every ounce of strength you could find.

I still remember 7am market shopping and laksa breakfasts with you;
And 2004's CNY Eve 10 course dinner with just Kung Kung, you and I;
You've travelled round and round the world, holding on to memories far and wide;
And eventhough God decided to take you home early, I know I'll see you soon back home one day.

Although I can't send you off to go on your long holiday;
I know you'll be enjoying yourself with more zest in life;
The vivid memory of you will stay put in my mind;
You are truly a model of success.

I won't say goodbye, but merely see you later;
I need not cry anymore for I know you're smiling;
You've lived such a wondrous life like no other;
You rock hard as a grandma, wife and mother. 

Love you lots Po Po!!! 

29.04.1924 - 21.06.2008

Seafood fried noodles



Spaghetti chicken carbonara



Spaghetti chilli bolognese



Cream of mushroom fettucine with asparagus




I know..mostly pasta dishes..and noodles. It's easy..what can I say? 

Cheerios~

Emotions are a very sacred feeling. The way we feel about something or someone is closely related to how we actually perceive it. Identifying one's self is a given. But envisioning what we see in front of us is another. It is always hard to see what other eyes see. What we keep knitted close to our mind is not always the big picture but just a small detail in the corner that somehow or rather makes the picture nicer to look at. We do things out of irrational thinking at times, and worse, we don't realise the effect it has on others. 

When you see something you like, it brings a smile to your face. You feel the excitement and it makes you feel like little kid again. When you see someone you like, it brings a smile to your heart. You feel the adrenaline rush and it makes you feel like you're floating. When something you treasure so much goes missing or stolen, you become a wreck. When someone you treasure deeply walks away, you feel like there's no more purpose in life. Yes, emotions are fragile at times. Sometimes, it brings out the worst in most people. Emotions can create and break friendships, relationships, but most of the time, it breaks things. These things we break are our faith, our motivation, our devotion and the very core to it all, our heart. At this point in time, our mind is not in control. Emotions become a buffer between fantasy reality and a broken reality. We cannot see beyond during that short stint.

But most of the time, eventually, we learn how to lift our feet onto the next step up the ladder. We know how strong and capable we are. We don't have to continuously keep climbing the mountain. We are that mountain. We are much tougher than we see ourselves to be. Reality is not always a happy place. But, eventhough fantasy and reality tend to collide, problems and predicaments will always make us feel vulnerable, we have to remember that reality is where life is.  

Do not dwell on the "should have..", "would have..", "could have..", and "why didn't I..";  but learn to live life with the "need to..", "have to..", can do..", and "will do..".

If your heart's in the right place, there's nothing to worry about.

Yesterday, after Yoko finished work, and after I finished my nonsense there...we went to have an early dinner at Daikoku around 5pm (I KNOW!!! too early). Unfortunately for her, Daikoku so happened to NOT have wine yesterday...so I said that we could go somewhere after. Then she was happy. (So much for her being the older one, huh??) 

So, after Daikoku, we walked around looking for a nice place to have after dinner drinks. She was taking the ferry back to Devonport and I had to walk back to my apartment, so I decided it was fair to go somewhere in the middle. (i.e. not so near the harbour..ahahah) so we ended up at Mecca in Chancery. heheheheh 

Half way through...Joseph (her man) called her. Man...was it a longggggg conversation. So...what do you do when you're being ignored? Start taking photos of random stuff you can find. 

 





When you put a tealight candle into a...


centerpiece tealight candle holder, you get....


An owl. *rolls eyes*



Boredom does make you do silly things... 


To cut to the end, they ended the conversation..we had the 2nd glass, then time was running out..so we both went out seperate ways. She had to catch her ferry at 8pm cos the next one was an hour away. I walked to uni to get some work done before heading home before 11pm. 




TODAY however...
I've been home alllllllll day doing some uni work and also transcript work (eg. I transcribe for the orthopaedic surgeon). 

Fast forward to dinner...home made Hainan Chicken Rice!!! *slurp*

 
Cook 2 cups of rice and pour in the water and ingredients
OR...you could always buy the ready made ingredient and just mixed it with the water in the cooker...like me heheheheh


For the chicken...


Wash and chop up the wings to 3 parts (drum, middle big and the tiny wing) and season with a little salt. 

You could use any part of the chicken..but this was the only one I could get at Taiping...even Foodtown was out. sighz~


Boil water and add in the chicken, crushed garlic and sliced ginger, a drizzle of sesame oil and a pinch of salt.
Change to low heat and let it cook for about 20 minutes.


While it cooks...

Check on the rice, and give it a stir..so the mixed ingredients doesn't stick to one area (u know...if it's clumpy)



Rice is stirred...prepare the vege.


Chopped up and fry with diced garlic.
Seasoned with oyster sauce. 





The result??



Drizzle a hint of soya sauce on the chicken...and dig in.
You could use the chicken broth and drink as soup too. 

I know...I missed out the fried garlic with dark soya sauce and ginger chilli. 




Bon Appetite~

Ingredients:
500g semi-thick egg noodles
3 eggs
2 tai wai choy bunches (chopped)
1/2 a block of pork ham (diced)
8 pcs of tau pok (sliced to quarters)
canola oil
light soya sauce
salt
white pepper
extra hot chilli sauce
not forgetting: a frying pan and a spatula

How to cook?
Well...first you heat the pan, then drizzle some oil, fry the vege first so it'll soften up. Then take it out. Then fry the pork ham, then the spongy tofu, then break the eggs. Let it sit for a while before you start to mix it all together. Sprinkle a pinch of salt and shake pepper all around. Then throw in the noodles. Bit by bit so you can get everything mixed evenly. Keep tossing and turning, with the random drizzle of soya sauce and pepper shaking. Last, toss in the cooked vege. Mix all around. Season to taste, and plate with a side blob of extra hot chilli sauce. (Or sambal belacan...or whatever you prefer!)

FInal result?




Ok...I may have been a little misleading. 500g worth gives you 2 full plates if you're a big eater. 


Pink coloured drink...is not air bandung unfortunately. HAHA it's grapefruit juice. 

Container on the left is the remaining noodles for me lunchie tomorrow! 
YAY!!!! cos today at work I didn't eat...no time T___T 
so tomorrow while doing the surgeon's transcripts...I will have time!!!
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Alritey then...cooking lesson is over.
Off to watch Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters....

Last night, we celebrated Prev's birthday at Bolliwood in Ponsonby. It's actually a really nice place..the ambience was alright. Was quite noisy though, cos there were quite a few group parties having their birthday dinner as well. The food....filling!!!! But some of us had starters and appetisers to begin with. Probably why by the time it came to end of mains...we were dying. heheheh

Anyways, I didn't take that many photos, and I realised after that i had the wrong setting on my camera...hence, the photos turned out quite fuzzy. 


 
Papadoms and medium spicy chicken saagwala with rice. YUM!!!!


Right end of the table.
(That's Rob's hand...not mine)

 
Left end of the table.


Kian, David C, David L


Louisa and the birthday man boy..and behind them..Bollywood MTV clips on projector.


The birthday boy with Kian and I



Finally...


Previn Andre..the birthday boy.
Notice the girl on the screen behind (who if I'm not mistaken was a younger Aishwarya Rai) and Prev..
they almost have the same pose. 


Happy Birthday Prev!!

Tse Lyn's in Auckland for business, but managed to spend few hours with me.I mentioned in my previous post, I was meant to see her yesterday, but she got caught up at a business dinner and couldn't contact me to postpone. So when she could..we said to meet tonight. And we did.

So after work, I got a ride from David and got dropped off at SkyCity where I waited for Miss Yu....who was late..again...but not her fault. *grin* Oh....side story~ I had a glass of wine at Rebo while waiting for her. Turned out the Church Road Chardonnay I ordered was not supposed to be sold by glass, but the waitress only realised she made that mistake after pouring. She asked her supervisor what to do...and he was really nice. He just said to charge me the lower price for the glass when it was the most expensive bottle. Drinking half way...Miss Yu arrived. Then...out of the blue..a small fly of some sort plopped into my wine glass and I think...died from the alcohol fumes? Anyways, I was trying to get it out..and the supervisor was looking at me. He came over and realised there was a bug in there and said "Hahaha that's not good." I told him to just get it out..didn't mind to continue drinking it. Not like it was in there for over an hour. Was just like 5 seconds. He just chucked the wine out and said he'll give me a new glass. But there was only enough for half a glass, he then said " I'll give you the rest of the Church Road, and a glass of Riesling on the house." I said it wasn't necessary..but he insisted. What could I do? So I gave the Riesling to Tse Lyn. The supervisor was quite good looking...no doubt...but I think he's quite young. HAHAH What am I saying?! ANYWAYSSSSS........I got a 2 for a much cheaper 1 deal. hahahahhaha Ok....moving on.

We went for dinner at Mandarin..cos it was just across the road and she didn't want anything too fancy. Just simple chinese food because Miss Yu said she has already gone a week without chinese food and she misses it!! -___-# I haven't seen her since I came to Auckland after Form 5. But, I can definitely say she still looks as gorgeous as she was in high school...and she's still into the checked shirts...adorable!! Catching up was awesome. If I'm not mistaken...I only started talking to her on MSN this year because I never had her contact prior to this. Then there was the emergence of Facebook. That's when we regained contact and she told me she was moving to Sydney. So hence...it's pretty much been 6 years of no contact at all between the two of us. It was really great getting to just meet up and just catch up on everything. 

Anyways, we were meant to move on to a pub or club or whichever after dinner...but unfortunately, the night out got cut short due to unforseen circumstances. Hahaha...oh well~ Some things are just better left unsaid huh?~


Taken just before she went off...dazzling isn't she? *ahem*
Never ask a PRC concierge to take photos. They need double takes before a clear shot is made. -_____-""

She's leaving tomorrow noon for Welly to meet other business clients for couple of days.

Anyways, babe~ If you read my blog...which I highly doubt..It was fantastic meeting up...we will see each other again soon..ahhahaha when I say soon..it takes forever!

Found a place called Elliot Stables just next to Atrium on Elliot. 

 
Don't know why people don't sit out here. Notice the stable doors? Those were little shops (closed already though cos it was 6pm). Very quaint place I reckon!


 
Wine at Elliot Stables on Tuesday


Blush on Wednesday We talked and talked and had to endure the super salty food...we kept ordering drinks. Ended up having 5 bottles myself and Yoko ended up having 3 glasses of Chardonnay. tsk tsk...

Accumulated work stress results to the need of venting. HAHAHA


Tonight...undetermined. Will be meeting up with me ex-sch mate who's in Auckland on business. 

It's unpredictable. You think you know better but in actual fact, it's always one step ahead. I'm sure you've wondered about the "could have, would have, should have, and what if's" throughout. But, if you start to ponder on those things, it would only make things worse. What makes it even more frustrating, is that the moment you think you're right where you want to be, you open the door to a new level, and you're back to square one. 

Why?

Why do we put so much effort to do one thing to achieve so much, but at the same time, we feel that it gets you no where?

Why are we stuck in one corner and sometimes refuse to see a way out just because we're comfortable?

Why do we keep going in reverse and all we should do is move forward? 

I guess it is hard to predict what we're all going through and what we're all heading to. I mean, yea...I suppose you could say that's what it's all about. The ups and downs, the vast variety of possibilities, and the endless list of wants and needs. We work so hard to keep ourselves happy by purchasing something or moving on the next person that would make us happy...but it's only for temporary. What happens after? What do we do to regain that little time of happiness? 

Unfortunately...I too, haven't found the answer. But I know...it will come to mind soon. 


Just a little something from an episode of Grey's Anatomy many weeks ago (Richard to Izzy) which meant so much to me for just a short phrase.

"You didn't invent the contest....The contest is a lion fight.
So chin up, put your shoulders back, walk proud, strut a little.
Don't lick your wounds. Celebrate. The scars you bear are the sign of a competitor.
You're in a lion's fight, Stevens. Just because you didn't win doesn't mean you don't
know how to roar."

"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations, the new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new, an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto: Anyone can cook. But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere." 
-Anton Ego- 

Just an animated movie, yet so much power put into words. I love the movie! 
Anyways, I'm no chef or famous food critic. hahahaha I just cook simple meals to feed my extraordinary stomach. LOL



Steam rice with garlic kangkung, oyster mushrooms and fried eggs


The Egg Taco Fried Rice...LOL I tried..reminds me of Nasi Pataya from the old Nice Cafe.


Fried (supposed to be grilled) pork chop with mash potatoes and steamed asparagus.



I did say I was going to post up my dinner creations...so wa-lah~ hahahahahah

Mindy just dropped off my (apparently AUD20ish) oversized toblerone from her brief 'business' trip in Melbourne. 

I'm not so much of a chocolate fan...but I quite like Toblerone. Don't know why. It's times like these that makes me happy I'm not staying at Lovelock anymore. Chocolate seems to always deplete a lot faster than usual over there. hahahahahah 

Anyways....my 1200g worth of tobleroneeeee will last a long time! AHHAHAHA *happy* 
I know..it's just Toblerone...but it's ALL MINE!!!!!! so don't go bursting my bubble.
LOL so much for trying to put off unhealthy food! 


It's longer than my lappy!! @_@ 
(nah...i just have a small sized laptop)



Maybe I have short fingers..


As you can tell..I'm trying to procrastinate from doing my 4th assignment. 


Last one...


OK!!! Enough wasting time...

Back to liberalism and feminism...I should ask Jo to do this for me!! -___-"

Past two weeks have just been really crazy for me. I had three assignments due in just a span of a 10 days. Handed in my third one yesterday (having not slept for 30 hours because of how one was due after the other) and with the fourth (and LAST!!!!) due tomorrow. Yay!....for the semester..hahahah. 

Work has been crazy as well. The clinic has been going through refurbishments. All new furniture, walls all painted, new colours on doors and all. And BECAUSE of the refurbishments...we admin are the most 'used' staff. Somehow or rather..the doctors and nurses make soooooooooooooo much noise complaining about this and that...but they literally do not lift a finger in helping to pack and unpack stuff around the clinic. They expect us admin to do it. And what's worse...they think we're technicians!! When their computer is not working, or the printers go haywire...they come and say, "The printer is just not printing. Can you come and fix it please?"   #$%^&*  I mean...no doubt..it's a freaking simple thing to do! And we (Yoko, Sally and I) get it fixed almost every time...but man! They have degrees and masters and who knows what other qualifications..and they don't know how to just click on RESET PRINTER?!?!?!?!? Seriously!! Makes me wonder..."I can't log on..I don't know why? Can you fix it?" OMG!!!!!! We're not paid enough to be your reception, technician, coffee and tea machine, and all that..on top of having to put up with the doctors and nurses and worse...the patients! Please excuse my frustration and ranting...it's seriously unbearable sometimes! And to make things worse...most of them don't even appreciate or show the slightest..if any..gratitude. 
Question: How do you expect to keep your staff when you undermine them so much? At this point..if I get a job offer..I'm gone!

*cooling down.....*

Reception area is super huge now and it makes the clinic look like Shortland St. it feels so sterile!!! Don't know whether that's a good or bad thing. But the desk is so high...I can't see the short patients. LOL! I know...I'm mean. The place isn't completed yet though...one of the consult rooms and the practice manager's room is incomplete. Next week will be the radiology room. Then it'll be finished!! I think all the dust and paint smell has made us admin sick! Especially Sally and I and since we've been there the most including after hours picking up the clinic's nonsense and rubbish the most (apart from the painters and all that). But the rest of the staff are...well I will just have to filter what I wanted to say. I'm happy happy cos none of them read this blog. BUT still.... haiz...

I told Sally (the practice manager who's pretty sick and fed up with the doctors and nurses as well) that I had applied for other jobs and was just waiting for a reply. And I think she was very biased when she said " that's great!! Hope you get it!" hahahaha think she probably won't mind me leaving either. Few months ago when I was searching for a 2nd job...she was quite weary that I might just leave the practice. Now...she's more than willing to be my referee. I do feel like I should move on to a new environment and see new faces..learn new things. I've been at QuayMed for a year already. And even now when I'm training newbies now..I don't feel like I've actually grown in this job. I still get the same pay (seeeeee change the clinic's look entirely...but no change to our pay! si tao po has delayed the pay review cos of the refurbishment! sighz~)

*random thought*
I just learnt that when the junior doctors were on strike at the 3 main DHBs, the senior doctors who covered their shifts got paid minimum $500 an hour. $500 AN HOUR?!?!?! man...that stinks real bad!! And that's just for covering extra shifts. Who knows what they get for their normal shifts. *grumble*grumble*

Anyhooooooosss......

I shall move on to something less stressful...


Captured from my window last week in the evening..awesome colours!!


Captured the very next morning...the sky was rainbow coloured. ^_^


Then, on Monday morning, I had to be at work before 7am. 
When I was on my way to work, I took this picture...

About 6.50am, the sun was on it's way up..

I just felt so surreal. The first thougt that came to my mind was how God's like a child..doing finger-painting in kindy. It was moments like these that made me feel like I'm really lucky to have sight...literally!! Am thankful...most times. ehehe


Speaking of thankful...I am super thankful I watched and helped my mummy cook when I was young. Hence, knowing how to cook is a very very very good thing! hahahaha I decided to start taking photos of what I cook and post it up. Helps when I have nothing better to talk about..and keeps memories...somehow or rather. 

Anyways..tonight's dinner was Beef Straganoff Fettucine with a glass of good ol' OJ (could have been a glass of red...but didn't buy! Oh well..OJ is healthier~


Looks so clean right??? hahaha


Restaurant worthy, ya reckon?? I should have drizzled a lil gravy around. 
Yes, it looks dry..but the gravy was inside...eheheheh I have style k!!!! 


Alritey...back to work! 
Toodles

 

I got Kian and myself tickets to go watch 
The Umbilical Brothers in THE REHEARSAL at SkyCity Theatre. 
It was their last performance tonight for the Comedy Fest.



We've watched them on youtube and they are hilarious...geniuses at being hilarious, but it's always best when it's seen in real life. The things they come up with spontaneously or rehearsed; the jokes, the stunts, especially the sound effects, and even with puppets and video camera....just hysterical. I assumed photos weren't allowed during the show, so I didn't take any. I could have taken some at the end when they were doing their DVD signing...but I couldn't be bothered...bought one of their shirts though. 



And on the back, it just says UMBILICAL.
Very simple.

Anyways, it was a very very good night...full of happy smiles and laughing. The guy and his gf behind us were laughing so loud...I think he was leaning forward to see more clearly...
cos he was REALLY LOUD. 

Well....back to square one called work. 
Hehehe..I know I said it was back to reality last week after Pilobolus...but this came up..and I didn't want to miss it. You can never predict what will happen in the future...be it near or far. That's the brilliance of life...gotta make it exciting...no?



Toodles~

God grant me the serenity;
To accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. 

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him;

Forever in the next.
Amen.

-Reinhold Niebuhr-
     (1872-1971)

(one of their merchandise)

Last night, we got to go watch Pilobolus Dance Theatre perform at the ASB Theatre, The Edge. As they worked their talents and ever-so graceful moves on stage, the dance "structures" that they created were so magnificent, it was unbelievable. The complication of interlocking arms and feet to carry a person's weight without struggling was a real skill. The hours and hours put into perfecting this dance must be more than a normal over-time shift. Hehehe....It was really shocking to see the females carrying the males as well, and one of the female was only probably 5ft..and I can tell for a fact that they're all not exactly very light. I'm talking about fully grown adults here. 60kg and above. It's like carrying your own weight with ONE hand or supporting yourself with your leg. NOT EASY!!!!



Of course, it's a totally different form of art and dance. Structures they make from interlocking their bodies together are beyond one's imagination. And they do it so gracefully. And....i must mention...the ripped bodies...on both male and female dancers. MAN!!! They make body builders look boring! heheheh cos these guys dance as well. eeheheheheh I don't know whether to classify it under contemporary dance...cos it's not really that either. It's like ballet but an much higher level. 



It was definitely worth seeing! And the best was when they did the credits. They just went skidding across the stage on soapy water one by one. Never expected. Since there were only 7 dancers in total, the stage was more than enough for them to slide. And it's a good thing our seats weren't right in front...cos they started squirting and flicking water towards the audience. We got to sit along row S, right in the middle (Row A being right in front obviously). 



It's definitely a pity we weren't allowed to take photos or videos but it's definitely a good experience! 
For more info, you can check out www.pilobolus.com
I took the photos from there, cos obviously, I couldn't take any photos last night.

The next thing on my "Artsy-Fartsy To Do List" is to feel the power of a full symphony orchestra at the Sydney Opera House. 
hehehehehhehehe 
Til then...it's back to reality..it's called work and uni. Ugh~
Toodles~

For the past 4 nights, I had a housemate called Darren or better known as Dai Lan (although..i reckon it doesn't resemble him at all HEHEHEHEH). Anyways, Darren and Mag came up to Auckland for Mag's graduation and also just a week long holiday. 

CONGRATULATIONS MAG!!! Steady bom bee-beep!!! 

Darren came to bunk at my place cos he was homeless during his holiday..ahehehhehe and having Darren as a housemate, even though it was only for 4 nights and there wasn't much to do at my place except go online and watch tv, it was fun! He fixed my TV (as in allocated the channels according to how they should go..because I couldn't be bothered to do it), and he cooked dinner when I was at work from 8am-8pm just so we could have dinner when I got back (well only because I cooked the night before and he said he "pai seh") heheheheheheheh *ahem*. 

Anyways, this morning, I left for work at 7.30am and he was still asleep. But he left sometime later in the morning to check in to a backpackers because my new housemate was arriving. I got home from work earlier at 2pm, and dear Dai Lan became unexpectedly oh-so-sweet. There was a new packed 2GB USB drive sitting on my laptop and a note typed out on my screen. It said:

oi!

thanks for letting me stay at your place.

here is a little present from me to you.

it's on your desk. hope you like it.

i'll see u soon.

thanks again.

byebye

darren


All because we had a tiny conversation about me having lost my 'quite new' 1GB usb drive about 2 weeks ago at uni. And when I called him on the phone to say thanks etc and said, "what if i didn't tell you about it?" and he said, " then maybe you might have gotten something nicer".  -___-" 
hahahah


So, Dai Lan! THANK YOU for the present. I really appreciate it! And I enjoyed having you as a housemate. I may go down to Welly for holiday...but maybe only! TAKE CARE!!!!

I told myself not to cry over spilt milk, but my heart could not hold it back. I yearned for something real but to no avail. I wish upon every star that my eyes set upon, but what's the use. It's not as though wishes upon a star come true every so often. Rarely...possibly. It isn't a fairytale..I get it. But aren't we the ones telling the story here? What's the point of creating a story if the author is not interested in writing? The perks of making stories is that we get to throw in twists and turns to the plot. But in some stories, there is a need for happy endings. We can't just leave the plot hanging. There are no such things as sequels or trilogies to this story. You get one chance at creating it...and one chance only. Whether you decide to forego that chance, it's a choice that was made and can't be unmade.  

I use to think that everything happened for a reason. Now I think everything happens because we build that pathway. I find it a little easier to believe that we are actually that 'reason'. Maybe yes, there is a bigger picture to every stroke of the paint brush. But who is holding the paint brush? If we didn't put that stroke on the canvas in the first place, there wouldn't be a masterpiece at the end. There would be an empty canvas. The way I see it, we are the canvas and the painter at the same time. We paint to make a masterpiece. That masterpiece is our life. Without the canvas, there is no picture. Without the picture, there is no vision. Without vision, there is no point looking.

Unfortunately for me...I felt most idiotic and pathetic early this morning. As much as I'd like to make it super dramatic...I can't! It's too damn stupid to even tell you what happened. So far, everyone I have sadly mentioned it to has laughed...to think how possible it was for that to happen to me. 

Alritey...that's all for today! Hope you enjoyed my post today. 
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Hmm..ok ok...here's what happened.



It was a little chilly last night, so I happily tucked the duvet under my feet...so that I won't feel the cold air. Around 5am this morning, I woke up..cos nature was busting! So I groggily got up and well...because I had to smartly tuck the duvet under my feet...by the time I realised that my feet were stuck under the duvet...I was already at the edge...so...yeaaa. I toppled and fell off my bed face front..landing on my right arm with my palm faced down. 

My  first thought was "OMG! Lucky no one was here to see this!" 

(went to toilet..went back to sleep later)

The pain only caught up to me couple hours later when I turned over to my right and leaned on my wrist. That was when I thought I might have fractured it. 

(Went to see doctor...xray done)

No fracture..super good thing..because I'm right dominant...it was just a wrist ligament sprain and swollen tendon.

But, as you can already tell..a whole lot of laughing at my stupidity was a given! 


Sighz...the price I paid to keep warm.

ACC Consult $Free (cos I'm staff hehe)
ACC Xray $25 (not free for staff)
Curry chicken rice for lunch $Free (cos Kian paid)

For everything else....hmm there's Visa! hahaha I don't have Master Card.


Anyways, there's goes my attempt at preventing injury for myself. Obviously didn't succeed. Better luck next time I suppose.



Til then...wrist stays in a tubigrip. 
  

We wake up every morning wondering how the day will go. When we look in the mirror, what do we really see? It is not just merely our reflection, but in abstract, the very masterpiece of who we have become. Sometimes, when I look at myself, I see sadness, but at the same time a little spark of joy. I am not smiling, but it's not a frown either. On the whole, I see myself emotionless, but yet, I am full of emotions ready to explode. Sometimes, a smile can make one so pretentious, but other times, genuine. I get up everyday with the thought in my mind that I am blessed to be able to wake up to the morning sunshine. I look at myself in the mirror and tell myself that I am alive today...not tomorrow, not next week...but today! Taking each day as it comes is better than jumping too far a distance than one can handle. Unsure of what's to come, we walk towards what we want to be known as reality. But, in fact, it is a whole other notion of reality. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's no harm thinking otherwise. As my title says, I think my life is quite like the Mona Lisa painting. It is neither happy nor sad, proud nor humble. It is an emotion of a whole new level. Hence, it is a masterpiece known for her half-hearted smile. What is behind that so-called smile...nobody really knows. 
Ask yourself...Why do you smile in photos even when you're not even feeling elated at that moment in time?